I ended up becoming a stay-at-home mom, or as I like to call it, a Domestic Engineer. I liked working and didn’t want to quit because I felt I wasn’t then giving my fair share of work or income to the family nest. However, daycare and private school cost and arm and a leg. It didn’t make sense for me to work and not have any income to bring home while having someone else watch my kids. So my husband and I worked it out together and cut our budget down for me to stay home. We saved money doing this, but my son’s tuition went up this new school year, and that’s where it all ended up going. That’s okay though, because I know he is in a safe place and I trust those teachers. I have plans though, for next year. I will be saving a lot more money by homeschooling. I have heard people say they are not cut out for homeschooling, and when they hear I am going to, their eyes go wide and go wow, you’re brave.

I think that is a step of bravery, but I also have time since I don’t work now. My only job (which is still very big) is maintaining the home and raising the kids. Sounds small, but when you look at society and where the kids heads are at these days, it’s a huge task. Raising decent human beings shouldn’t feel daunting. I am still scared yet excited, about homeschooling next year. My son will be in second grade and that’s the scariest part to me since he will have been used to two years of school before that. I am homeschooling my daughter for preschool right now, then next year she will be in pre-k. Then there’s dear baby who will be growing and learning the world while watching her two older siblings. I have resources around and many people to talk to for help or encouragement and ideas, so I just need to take that step.

My son has not been told he has autism or any sure diagnosis, but the doctors believe there is something there, some sort of learning problem. My thought is, it’s school. We are forcing a boy to sit still for hours and pay attention. That’s not what a little boy needs at this age. He needs kinetic and exciting ways of learning. I want him to love learning and to always want to know more. I want him to have a passion for learning and I don’t think that’s possible in a classroom at any school. My personal experience does take a dramatic part in this. I hated school. I couldn’t focus in the class, my mind was constantly wandering off, and I see this exact thing in my son especially when doing homework after school.

He used to have a big issue transitioning between changes in activities, which the doctors thought was something to do with the ASD. I cut the red dye and well pretty much all the dyes from his diet with maybe an unchecked 15% still there. He has had a visible change in his behavior since then. It breaks my heart when I see him struggle and get frustrated because I was there and I experienced that too. It hurts so much when the class seems to all get something as a whole, and nobody needs to ask questions and you are terrified to say anything because then, everyone will think you are stupid or the teacher just can’t stay on that topic for one student because they need to move on for the whole class. You forget your questions when the teacher is able to come back to you and there is a huge wall. Not right in front of you that you can’t get over. But right on your paper and in your mind. You can’t see your paper and you can’t make sense of anything because your brain has seemed to just shut down or give up. How do you help the kid that doesn’t know what questions to ask? I had many teachers give up on me because I couldn’t ask the right question. But I also didn’t have a label that said I need extra help so they thought I just wasn’t trying. I don’t want my son to go through that too.

Taking a turn back to being a millennial, I think I have finally reached the age where my face now shows I am old enough to have a seven year old. Anytime I said my age, I had a few people not believe me. Then to see their faces change as I said I have three kids and their ages. I wonder if people on ASD, because it’s developmental thing, look younger because of it.

I think it’s funny how each generation doesn’t want to be affiliated with the next one. Like this new generation graduating from college, Gen Z. I still see on social media, people blaming millennial’s for stuff not realizing, we moved on and there’s a whole new generation with their own ideals. I think my kids are all part of the same generation called the I-gen, probably because of all the technology. Insert shiver. (I like the access to information but I don’t like it being a part of any identity.) The legitimate name is Generation Alpha. I think it just started over at the beginning of the alphabet.

I like where I am at, though it may not be understood by many, many people my age/generation. Since I have kids and in the workplace I’ve been told, “Why would you ruin your life like that?” I love being a stay-at-home mom. It’s definitely not a lazy job, with endless laundry and chores. I love being with my kids though. I think it’s super important to be with them in these crucial years. I know it’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely becoming a dream job for me. Hosting is one of my favorite things too, especially when I have to cook or bake. Not in a show-off way, but more so of, “Look! I made this, please enjoy!” I love baking, especially now that fall is coming!