Really? What should I look like? I feel like this comment is degrading. As if they are stereotyping and deciding what that should look like in everyone. There are so many people I’ve seen on social media that look like the average person and they too, have autism.

What is Aspergers Syndrome?

It use to be classified on its own but is now a part of the Autistic Spectrum Disorder or ASD. “Asperger’s Syndrome is a developmental disorder. Young people with Asperger’s Syndrome have a difficult time relating to others socially and their behavior and thinking patterns can be rigid and repetitive. Generally, children and teens with Asperger’s Syndrome can speak with others and can perform fairly well in their school work.  However, they have trouble understanding social situations and subtle forms of communication like body language, humor and sarcasm.  They might also think and talk a lot about one topic or interest or only want to do a small range of activities.  These interests can become obsessive and interfere with everyday life, rather than giving the child a healthy social or recreational outlet.”(https://tinyurl.com/mwdh2aad)(Nationwide Children’s website)

An example: I am fearful of large crowds. Oddly I am an introverted extrovert. I love being with lots of people, but throw me into a crowd long enough and I become over stimulated, as there are too many things to process all at once. I could be at church in the atrium with lots of people wandering and milling about and having a conversation with, when I all of a sudden seem to shut down. It may look like I have lost interest in what we or you were talking about. I actually have had an information overload.

There is the conversation we are having. The constant distraction of people moving around and noise from them talking. Maybe someone started talking slightly louder right near us. The TV’s are on a slideshow and there is a highway right outside the giant glass window wall. Planes fly over because we are less than an hour away from DIA. My skin on my legs may be touching the chair and I suddenly become very aware of this and uncomfortable. (Even now, I am distracted and losing focus. I went into a separate room to type and my dear daughter has found me and is talking to me and playing right next to me on the floor.) I might be playing with my phone or popsocket to focus. For some reason my hands doing something allows my brain to pay better attention to someone talking. Everyone else has a filter they can use to just ignore everything in the background. They can put that on mute. But for me, I can’t do that.

Another quirk I have is I take all the input I can. I read everything. As in everything, everything. I read all the traffic signs, billboards, little papers in windows, license plates, bumper stickers, cereal boxes…I come across as a know-it-all but all I did was read the information given to me.

While researching information, I found questions asked from healthline. One was: Do people with Aspergers like to cuddle? They responded with “Touch avoidance commonly occurs in ASD. Autistic people can have sensitivities to touch, which can make something like hugs or kisses unappealing to them. Unwanted affection may make them uncomfortable, or even angry.” And here I thought I was just being a jerk to husband. I also never touch anyone. I didn’t realize this until I read that and thought about it. I touch my husband and three children. I don’t often go for hugs even from friends. I never touch someones shoulder or hand or arm to get their attention. If someone touches me though, be prepared for me to jump out of my skin from shock. This doesn’t apply to my husband and kids though. I don’t really mind it as long as you don’t lightly touch me. Then it itches because..something touched me.

Another symptom is hyper focus or tunnel vision. I’m either all in and this is getting done now, which doesn’t mean within a reasonable amount of time. You can forget plans when this happens since I will be in my own world ignoring everything outside me to get something done. Or I will hear the question, not process or hold onto it and get brainfog.

Then there is the whole literal thing. Everything is literally literal. Yet I can speak with sarcasm and understand some of it coming from other people. If you make a suggestion though, for me, that’s right now. “You should do this” and I hear/do, right now. Which is why I find myself making lists very often. Or as my father-in-law calls it, a punch list. I feel very accomplished when I check everything off or erase everything one by one when completed.

I feel like I should wrap up this post, but feel free to ask any questions that you would like to know the answer from my perspective.