Setting boundaries is imperative after realizing there were none or very little. Boundaries with the mouth, the mind, and the body. This breaks down into what applies to you for friends, family, children and spouse. It seems silly but very necessary when you are reattaching yourself to tangible and real relationships. Let the numbing come off and feel the feelings that have been happening and passing by or have been suppressed. Drawing a line draws out emotions. Writing it down solidifies the genuineness of the act and helps you not forget where you stand. Writing down most things at thins point has been very helpful since I am stepping out of the fog.

Sometimes it’s hard to think of what the boundaries are and could be. Other times, it’s a breeze and seems silly writing down such obvious things. The easy ones will help jumpstart the harder ones. Like brain storming.

I read a book in the past and need to pull it out again. I highly recommend it. Its Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Henry-Cloud/dp/0310241804

This helped when I went through it the first time, but I love re-reading things because you find things that apply to you now when they didn’t before. Or it took you another time to realize what it was saying and meant to you.

I have found when reattaching, some things hurt, some things heal and some things just can’t come back; and that’s okay. It’s important though, to makes sure there is communication with others to establish the boundary. The other person may welcome the boundary or have a hard time with it. This part requires a strong position from you to be consistent with your boundary. I am fortunate to have wonderful friends who will encourage you when you are having a tough time understanding things. They also will not hold back though when you have stepped over their line on their boundary. They let you know, “No that’s not okay” firmly, but gently. It most definitely hurts, but is so necessary.